Ok so this post is not about weight loss directly. It's more about my relationship with my husband. As I have mentioned before, he works away from home weeks at a time. And yes this is difficult (as everyone who knows about this has TOLD me). But what makes it more difficult is the fact that he is a moody person generally and I believe that he is currently experiencing a midlife crisis (he's 44).
Just a bit of history, I met my husband when I was 16 and he was 27. Before people get all judgemental about this, I was a very mature 16 year old and he was an immature 27 year old. And our relationship wonderful until we got married, then something changed. He was my first everything and I have loved him always. However, our relationship has had some serious problems over the years. We have 2 kids and I feel that our relationship is not just about what we want right now. Tonight he told me, on the phone, that he missed the girl that I was when we first met and when I was in university. That pissed me off so much because my first thought "So you don't like me now?" I mean, what do I say to that? I'm 32 now--I'm twice the age I was when we met. I told him of course I was carefree in those days--I did not have any responsibility then. Now I work full-time, take care of 2 kids and try to keep the house in one piece and yes I feel stressed out a lot of the time but I think that I am a good person. Other people like me, why can't he?
I realize as I read this over that I don't really have a point but I really need to vent because I feel like there is no one I can talk to about this. I have friends but no "best" friend--HE was my best friend. Sometimes I am so close to just saying to I can't do this anymore and then I look at my kids and I don't want that for them. But sometimes I feel like I'm sacrificing my esteem to be part of this marriage and at the end of the day, I don't know if it's worth it...
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3 comments:
I had a post about my relationship with my hubby a week or so back! Sometimes we just can't focus on weight loss only! Sounds like your relationship with your husband is similar to mine (except the age thing). Here's hoping your relationships with people AND food are good! I know I need that too! :-) Good luck. Thanks for stopping by.
I'm so sorry. It must be so hard to be apart and stressed and I can fully understand the anger and frustration when he said that he missed the old you. But, to be devils advocate, do you not miss the old you too? It sounds like she was fun.
Wow honey... I'm sorry I've been away. I was just going to quickly read some before dashing out the door but I'll take a minute.
My parents split up when I was 17. Let me tell you, it sucked. Sucked big time. But let me also tell you that they're being together made my life even more miserable when I was younger. Fighting, me being the referee... I'm not saying that's how your life is, but from the child's point of view, I love my parents each much better because they are happier and don't snap at me as much. Sometimes as a kid I would mis interpret their lack of love for each other as a lack of love for me and my sister.
I just wanted you to understand that. Your kids will love you no matter what... but do what's best for them. I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this stuff. It's not fun... but the important thing in a relationship is that people change TOGETHER... is there anything that can be discussed to bring you closer? Sometimes men are dumb too... for instance, your perception of who you used to be might be TOTALLY different than what he was talking about... just a thought.
(((HUGS)))
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