Ah the reality check!

Week 4 of Couch to 5k is not working so smoothly as previous weeks--damn shin splints. So while I'm not strictly following week 4, I am still running more than week 3. Hopefully I can try week 4 next week. This, of course, puts me off track for running a complete 5K in October. However I think that I can still do the 5K, there just may be more walking involved than previously thought. So while this bothered me when I first thought about it, a friend pointed out to me that at least I'm attempting a 5K, WHEN had I ever even thought about doing something like that? Uh....NEVER! And in discussing my shin splints while eating lunch in the staff room today, some people decided to share their 2 cents that running is evil--too hard on the body. Well maybe, and if it comes down to running or never walking again, I'll stop but I haven't experienced the "high" from any other exercise regime that I get from running.

I'm back to work, teaching high school math. I love it! My daycare situation may be changing later so I'll have to start working out again afterwork, not something I'm looking forward to :( We'll see what happens....

Ummm...hello...summer?

Where did the summer go? We've had soooooo much rain that it felt like summer was never truly here. Although this weekend is suppose to be awesome and then it's back to work for me. I'm very excited to get back to teaching and meeting the new kids entering high school. But I am going to miss my flexible scheduling and spending more time with my kids. I finished week 3 of the Couch to 5K. And this morning's run felt good even though my hamstring was stretching on the first few minutes. I honestly feel like this running is going to work well for me (fingers crossed!).

I am curious what other people eat pre-workout. This morning I had a slice of multigrain bread, 1tbsp peanut butter and a glass of V8 and felt great. The other morning I had a bowl of cereal and a coffee--I wanted to puke halfway thru my run. I'm trying to get out of my food rut. I read an interesting tidbit the other day that a study found that overweight people tend to eat the same boring bland food all the time. People who are thin tend to eat a variety of foods with many seasonings and spicy flavor. Apparently I wasn't part of that study because I love savory foods :)

I'm going to cry....

from all the SUPPORT you peeps have shown me! I'm going to keep the running in the 5K as my fitness goal for the next bit. Tonight was walk 90 secs, run 90 secs then run 3 mins, walk 3 mins, 2 times. I did it--I felt so proud and so happy when it was complete.

Anyways I don't know if the timing of the 5K is perfect but then one of my personal growth goals is how to deal with things that aren't perfect :( In the past I have just not attempted something if I thought I would fail and this has led to a couple of regrets for me. So this 5K will be something that I'm just going to have to develop the mindset that I'm doing it for my "personal best"...something our Canadian athletes talk about tonnes while at the Olympics--hahaha, especially when we had no medals. They are doing much better now:)

Another topic--how do any of you inspire yourselves to do the strength/resistance training? I have begun to do some form of free weight training every workout but I dread it so much. I know that the more training you do, the less cardio you need to do. Theoretically--muscles burns more calories than fat, so the more muscle mass you have, the more calories you burn...but I hate it. I think it's because:

1. I'm surrounded by bulging muscles and tattoos--why? what is the connection there?
2. I'm surrounded by mirrors--I have avoided full length mirrors for a VERY LONG time.
3. I'm not a co-ordinated person and feel clumsy with my movements--although this is improving...

So I need to know how you all get your motivation together for tackling the weights?

Life is what you make it...

and I believe that...so I will choose to be positive (see previous post).

Ok so I've been toying with the idea of running a 5K. I have been following the Couch to 5K program (modified version). The CIBC Run for the Cure is scheduled (in my city) for October 5. That is the exact date when I'm scheduled to finish the Couch to 5K program. I would like to have more experience under my belt before then but there will not be another opportunity until Spring...I'm going to think about it. I think it's the motivation I need to keep up with the running, which I'm liking much.

We'll see :)

My iPod healed itself!

Ok so I thought it was toast, apparently I just let the battery run down--THANK GOD! Today's workout was much needed and very therapeutic.

Is anyone else watching Big Brother 10--I am addicted to bad reality tv shows but Big Brother is usually my favorite. However, this year, I have no idea how they found so many loud mouthed, annoying and obnoxious people to place in one house. It must be the new criteria to make it more watchable (roll of the eyes)...I don't think I like one person enough to root for them to win half a million dollars.

Today I had lunch with a friend from my university years. She last saw me around one year ago and she said to me "You look just amazing, how much weight have you lost?" When I told her 40 lbs, she said she could believe it and what was my secret. Her comment was just what I needed today. For the last few weeks, I've been feeling out of sorts. I didn't want to care what I ate, what time I ate or how much I ate. I still wanted to exercise but my eating has been out of control. 3 nights ago I had a big bowl of peanut butter fudge crunch ice cream for supper--I don't even want to think about how many calories it was or how much fat :( After I ate it, I asked myself do you really want to go back to your old FAT self...I'm still overweight but I don't feel FAT anymore--know what I mean?? Anyways when my friend was complimenting me today, I realized that even though I feel tired of what I'm doing, it was working for me. As well, I need to re-examine why I wanted to lose weight in the first place. And you know what, even though I've been telling people that it was for me, that wasn't the honest truth. The honest truth was that I wanted to improve my relationship with my husband, I wanted our sex life to be "hot" again. I thought if I lost weight, then maybe we could rekindle what we once had. But I realize now that what we once had is maybe gone and maybe I need to say the heck with him and trying to make him happy, I need to focus on what makes me happy. But what do you do when you think it's him that makes you happy?

Arg!

I went to the gym today--first day since last Thursday and I did not have a good workout. #1--my ipod was dead. I did wash it accidently with my gym clothes this weekend but it appeared to have made it thru the ordeal. Apparently the battery is screwed though, so no music for workout. DEADLY--my music is what helps me make it thru. #2--I was tired. I am just tired this week, so while doing my running routine I just felt sluggish. So I finished after 15 mins. I usually do 25 mins no problem and think I could do more but not today. I did do my weight training though for back and biceps. This was the first day in ages that I did not want to do my workout. So I'm hoping just all the late nights from Hubby being home caught up to me and tomorrow will be better. Strike that--tomorrow will be better!

Lots to think about

This past week has been an emotional roller coaster for me. I could blame it on PMS but I think it has more to do with me struggling to find out who the "real" me is. Now I don't want to get all psychological on you and that sounds like such bullshit when I read it on the screen but it's true. I honestly feel like ALL my life has been spent trying to please other people. My career as a teacher is the only true thing that I feel I've done for me. And I love it and I'm so confident in my abilities to help youth. But the rest of my life feels chaotic, although I spend vast amounts of energy making it appear to others that I've got it all together. So I've been thinking alot about going to a counsellor for some clarity. I've been to a therapist once and I saw her three times but I didn't really click with her. WELL if I'm being honest, I wasn't willing at that time to be honest with her about my life. But in losing 40 lbs and being a fitter person, I want the inside of me to catch up with the outside me. But I'm scared of what therapy could lead to. Has anyone else turned to a therapist for help along this journey? Have you thought about it but decided against it? I need some advice :)

Quick Update...

I did the kickboxing class on Friday. I am so proud of myself because I am the type of person that will avoid anything that will make me look like an idiot, regardless of the fact that other people may look idiotic as well. But I thought if I'm going to "grow" as a person I've got to be willing to take chances. So I went and I actually liked it and I will return this Friday.

My eating and exercise routines were a bit off kilter this past weekend. I went to visit my parents for the long weekend. Healthy eating choices are not widely available at my mom's house because she's not a big eater so she eats what she wants. My dad works in manual labor and burns off every bit of his caloric intake. I did go out and purchase some veggies (which were eaten up immediately by my siblings), and made a ginormous salad (once again eaten up by the rest of the family). So I didn't do too badly, given that I tend to overeat around other people. Sunday night we did have homemade chocolate cake and ice cream. Last night we toasted marshmallows around a campfire. I did get in some walking this weekend but no running. It was heavy rain and thunderstorms all weekend so I don't feel bad. I just know that I have to maximize the rest of the week at the gym.

How is everyone else doing? Do you find it easier to stick with your plan and exercise in the summer or the winter. I'm learning that winter was easier for me. I think it's the unstructuredness of summer that makes it more difficult for me. I can't wait to get back to work...um, did I just wish the rest of my summer vakay away?